“I am the creator of my own reality!” This is my mantra. My name is Jennifer Bellini and this is my story.
Today, I share with you how absolutely amazing I feel inside and out. I maintain a clean, balanced diet, which nourishes consistent varied workouts to keep my physical body strong and energized. I also have daily spiritual rituals that I practice to keep my soul feeling inner peace and calm. My story did not start this way. If you had told me 8 years ago this is where I would be today, I would not believe you…
My mother became pregnant with me at 18-years-young with no idea what to do with a child. My mother and I lived with my caring maternal grandparents until I was 5. When my mother remarried a few years later, she and her new husband had two more children, and we started to form what I hoped, with every fiber of my being, would be a beautiful family.
The years to follow were no such fairy tale. My stepfather turned out to be mentally and physically abusive turning my mother into a depressed, miserable shell of her former self. As the center of my everything, I experienced each scream, hit and shove right along with her often becoming a focal point for her frustration and anger.
At age 10, my biological father resurfaced. Once again, what I thought may be a light at the end of a long, dark tunnel turned out to be a freight train headed straight for me. To my right, my father began to sexually and physically abuse me - by 15, abuse was all I knew and I had become an expert at hiding it from anyone around me. To my left, my stepfather succumbed to drug and alcohol addition with suicide.
Despite it all, I soldiered on. I went to school at night and graduated with my bachelor’s degree, which armed me to start my career in corporate America. I bought the house. I climbed the ladder. I started a family. I was convinced that if I made it look all right then it would be all right.
By my late 30’s I found myself crippled by anxiety, consumed by depression and bogged down by 40lbs of excess weight.
My marriage was a house of cards that threatened to topple at any moment. I was plagued by nightmares and started self-medicating with alcohol and food - anything to numb the pain. We lived a lie dressed in lavish vacations, parties with friends and a manicured lawn. I felt entirely alone and hated myself. I assumed that this was the best there was - this is my life - and I was committed to sucking it up and staying strong for the sake of my children.
Don’t mistake me, over the years I saw therapists and took all the many medications they prescribed. I joined countless gyms. I tried every diet in the books. But my weight ticked up and my energy deflated like a slow leak from an old balloon. I was so tired ...so, so tired.
I remember feeling helpless - a victim of cruel circumstance of which I had no power or control. I felt unwanted and unworthy of love.
It wasn’t a wake-up call or near-death experience that turned my life around - it was a choice. One day, I woke up and decided to break free and move forward. It was that simple and that difficult.
I stopped living a life for someone else and started living my life for me and for my kids. I was determined to show them someone who had a strong sense of self - to be an example of health and happiness. I would break the cycle.
It was not an easy road. Remember, I had become an expert at avoiding the real work and hiding from who I was or what I wanted. But I leaned into all the muck and mire and faced my greatest fear - myself.
I learned how to nourish my body with clean, wholesome food. I stopped drinking to hide the feelings. I picked up weights. I looked in the mirror and said kind words. I unpacked mental and physical baggage. I made small steps each and every day that turned into habits.
Inspired to teach others how to nourish their best selves, I obtained my Wellness Coach Training & Certification through the International Associates for Wellness Professionals (IAWP) and continued my formal education in holistic health and healing by way of the CORE Coaching Method (CCM). In 2018, I became a certified Precision Nutrition Coach.
In an effort to enrich my own spirituality and teach others the practice of meditation I joined The Chopra Center and received my Certification in Primordial Sound Meditation in May 2019.
I thought I was on the right track with the hardest part behind me, but instead I was blind-folded on a freight train for disaster.
I found myself in a very unhealthy codependent relationship. I had no self-awareness of the manipulation cycle I found myself in, until the near end. This toxic cycle eventually broke me; I lost my whole self! The relationship ending was the most painful experience of my life. However, I will forever be grateful and thankful for this experience as it showed me I had deep inner work left to do..
Healing that emotional trauma was very painful. It opened up all the wounds to my inner child that I thought I had put to bed years ago. It was still with me - living in my subconscious mind, driving my belief system and wrecking my nerves. My wounds that I was faced with to heal - fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough and unworthy of love and happiness.
Having done traditional talk therapy over the years, I decided to try something new and discovered PSYCH-K® therapy.
PSYCH-K® helped me decondition layers of my subconscious mind, increase my bandwidth, become fully in my body, and self aware of my limiting beliefs and triggers. All of this challenging inner work led me to discover a new perspective on alternative healing, deepened my spirituality, expanded my self-awareness, and, ultimately, allowed me to step into a place of interdependency and empowerment. I truly know now what it feels like to love and prioritizing myself.
I have adopted more mindful movements, energy healing and spiritual practices such as meditation, sound healing and prayer into my daily life.
I am connected to my energy field and use Rieki to clear out resistance, activate my parasympathetic nervous, and balance my energy channels. I am in tune with my physical body. My expanded awareness gives me clarity and space to make healthy, conscious choices.
All of the expansion I experienced led me to discover my empathic gifts that I wish to share with the world. Today, I live my life using my intuitive guide which supports conscious healthy choices. My highest self knows best!
I am a true passionate believer in alternative health. I will be the first to tell you, practicing self-love is a daily choice and continuous journey. I would love for everyone to feel healthy, vibrant, and attract all the best our universe has to offer.
I am here to hold a safe space and share what I’ve learned through study and experience with you. Are you ready to do the work to heal your way to love and happiness?